Top Mark

Wolverhampton Wanderers v West Ham United, Saturday August 15 2009, 3pm.

If we recall correctly this is the very first time we've watched our beloved West Ham United play the first game of the season in the flesh. Amidst rumours of rogue homefan hooligans looking to 're-introduce' themselves to the Premiership, we met up with Dave R, Basingstoke Paul, Brighton Ben and Jerry at The Royal Oak, a friendly hostelry about a mile from the station, the other side of the ringroad, to sup Guinness and soak up the sun in the convivial surroundings of the spacious beer garden.

A brisk stroll to the stadium saw us just about get inside the ground for kick-off, with the home support providing huge roars of support every time the newly-promoted Wolves came anywhere near the Hammers' penalty area. A fairly open, even game then took a dramatic twist when Irons midfield tyro Mark Noble was given all the time in the world by a ponderous home defence to pick a vicious, swerving, long-range shot past the despairing arms of Wayne Hennessy into the net to open the scoring.

The early deafening volume of the home support was instantaneously muted by this setback, a seeming mood of resignation enveloping the ground as the Hammers were unlucky not to press home further the advantage before Half-Time. There was a renewed sense of purpose when the Second Half started, however, but England goalkeeper Robert Green provided a stunning salvo of saves to puncture the enthusiasm before it even started.

The game continued, feeling as comfortable for the boisterous away fans as a 1-0 advantage ever can be, Collison missed a near-open goal to raise anxiety levels a little but what tension existed evaporated when central defender Matthew Upson appeared to rise effortlessly over the Wolves defence to nod a second goal halfway through the second period. The home side continued to press but with dissipating conviction, while the pace of Hammers sub Junior Stanislas unsettled the black-and-gold rearguard during the closing stages of the match.

In summary, so far so good for West Ham, with Zola and Clarke continuing to wring out every ounce of team spirit and cohesion from limited resources and a backdrop of continuing financial unease. Wolves will be disappointed at how quickly their belief and purpose slipped away after a promising opening, and will need to be sharper in both penalty areas to accumulate the points they need to secure Premiership survival.

Parallax Premiership Ratings: GREEN 8; Faubert 7, Collins 6, Upson 7, Ilunga 6 (Spector 4); Collison 6, Parker 6, Noble 8; Dyer 6 (Stanislas 7); Jiminez 7, Cole 6. Frank Nouble came on late for Cole, with little chance to register a mark.

Parallax Premiership Predictions

1. MANCHESTER UNITED

2. Chelsea
3. Arsenal
4. Liverpool

5. Everton
6. Manchester City
7. Tottenham Hotspur
8. Aston Villa
9. Blackburn Rovers
10. West Ham United
11. Sunderland
12. Wigan Athletic
13. Fulham
14. Stoke City
15. Bolton Wanderers
16. Wolverhampton Wanderers
17. Birmingham City

18. Portsmouth
19. Hull City
20. Burnley

Tristan's Handy*

Aston Villa v West Ham United, Villa Park, Birmingham, Saturday April 18 2009, 3pm.

Dead Kenny's annual journey to the Villa Park away game often involves more hope than expectation, with a narrow defeat in a scrappy game the median outcome, so fortification was required beforehand in The Wellington, where met up with Dave R, Basingstoke Paul, Big Ray and a sizeable Hammers support contingent, and real ales were quaffed and musings made on a season that is turning out significantly better than it might have done.

Indeed, back in December when the sides last met in a match shown live on Setanta Sports, the Hammers were hovering perilously over the relegation trapdoor, lacking conviction under the unproven tutelage of rookie gaffer Zola, while a victorious Villa looked set fair for Champions League qualification at the expense of better fancied sides like Arsenal. Four months later and a consistent second half of the season has seen West Ham pull clear of relegation torment and have realistic aspirations of Europa Cup qualification, while just one point in six games has seen Villa fall away dramatically from the Champions League placings to be just two places ahead of the Irons before the game kicked off.

West Ham started the game in more positive fashion than is the norm for away encounters, with a lack of composure in the penalty area preventing youngster Junior Stanislas from converting good approach play into goals. Trouble was, we were also looking very vulnerable at the back, with Robert Green having to look sharp on several occasions, and the home side's second substantial goal attempt was converted by Emile Heskey following a sequence of clumsy defensive work from an unusually wobbly back four. Villa steadily gained in confidence and threat as the half wore on, prompting Zola to make an atypical early tactical change, taking off James Collins for Keiron Dyer to partner the industrious Mark Noble in midfield, with Lucas Neill moving back to his regular full-back slot, allowing the impressive Tomkins to move into central defence alongside England international Matthew Upson.

The second half remained relatively open, with the Hammers working hard and gaining a reasonable share of the ball only to find attacking moves petering out in the final third, the veteran strikeforce of Diego Tristan and David diMichele struggling to retain possession against a resolute Villa defence. Many Hammers fans were crying out for Zola to sort things out, but instead of taking off the hapless Tristan it was DiMichele and Stanislas who made way for youngsters Savio and Sears. The extra movement from the young lads seemed to unsettle the Villa rearguard and Hammers started to dominate proceedings until who else but the hitherto negligible Tristan's head steered Dyer's drive into the net for a just-about-deserved equaliser. From this point, West Ham looked the more likely to edge in front, although Villa had a penalty shout which was the far side of your correspondent's viewpoint so, to quote Mr Wenger, I deed not see it. Given that Villa beat us in December with the flukiest deflection in the history of the game ever, no-one should feel sorry for them.

Decent day's work for the Hammers then, given that of the six starting players in offensive positions only Noble could be considered a normal first choice, while for Villa, as the away support mercilessly chided, Champions League they *are* having a laugh. Looks like both sides will be limping towards the season climax, Hammers literally and Villa metaphorically.

Parallax Premiership Player Ratings: Green 7; Tomkins 7, Collins 5 (Dyer 5), Upson 6, Ilunga 5; Stanislas 6 (Savio 6), Neill 6, NOBLE 7, Boa Morte 6; Di Michele 6 (Sears 6), Tristan 5.

*with apologies to the gentleman author Tristam Shandy.

Savio(ur)

West Ham v Manchester City, Boleyn Ground, Upton Park, London, Sunday March 1st, 12.30pm.

This is your fairweather fan's first foray into Upton Park for a Sunday lunchtime kick-off, a decidedly different atmosphere than normal with most fans getting to the ground at near enough the same time, and near enough all sober, and a snaking queue outside the club shop. A quick pint in the ground, where we spy the team formation on the club TV, with recent loan acquisition (and programme cover star) Radoslav Kovac, bought as a defensive midfielder, playing at the attacking head of a diamond formation in the middle of the park.

Both teams start the game in a relatively comfortable mid-table position after occasionally hazardous campaigns, with perhaps City in better form and spirits after a creditable draw the previous weekend at Anfield, while The Hammers have struggled to convert their good general play into goals since selling Craig Bellamy to today's opponents. These circumstances lead to an open game with West Ham working the ball well in midfield but City looking bright and dangerous when they get the ball in offensive positions.

The first half is a fairly even affair, Bellamy predictably getting a lot of stick on his rapid return to Upton Park following his controversial departure in the transfer window, and £30m+ superstar Robinho earning jeers of 'what a waste of money' with two gilt-edged chances spurned, one foiled by a smart, sharp stop from 'keeper Robert Green, the other comically spooned wide. Most of the concern came from the sad sight of West Ham's right-sided midfielder Valon Behrami stretchered off with what looked like a serious injury, which saw wunderkind Savio brought on for his longest spell in a first-team game since his £5.5m move back in January.

Savio plays on the left-side of midfield with fellow youngster and Welsh international Jack Collison switching flanks. This doesn't seem to interrupt the home side's attacking momentum and if anything the Hammers take a more commanding role in the second half. Two incidents in quick succession seal the direction of the game: Bellamy coming off injured (was lovely to properly wave the little so-and-so goodbye) and Savio, bought by the club as his replacement, forcing a good save from Shay Given which only served to push the ball in Collison's direction who cleverly hoisted it over the keeper's despairing lunge into the open net. Aside from a few dead-ball situations Citeh rarely looked like levelling matters and a welcome three points for Gianfranco Zola's claret-and-blue army sees us rocket up to seventh and today's opponents looking nervously over their shoulders at the relegation dogfight.

All in all a good solid team effort, predictably professional performances from Robert Green and Scotty Parker well complemented by youngsters Collison, Savio and James Tomkins who's looking increasingly assured in central defence and if anything made a more telling contribution than his England international partner Matthew Upson whose distribution was a bit off-key today. Kovac, making his full debut, appears to add height, presence and experience to the midfield mix, which is good news in light of an anticipated lengthy lay-off for the unfortunate Behrami.

Parallax Player Ratings - Green 8; Neill 7, Tomkins 7, Upson 6, Ilunga 7; Collison 7, PARKER 8, Kovac 7, Behrami 6 (Savio 7); Di Michele 6, Cole 7. Jonathan Spector and Walter Lopez came on as late subs but didn't have enough game time to register a fair assessment of their play.

King David

West Ham United v Newcastle United, Upton Park, London, Saturday September 20 2008, 3pm.

This is your credit-crunched correspondent's first game of the season, our visit to the Boleyn Ground happily co-inciding with Gianfranco Zola's first game in charge, providing an excellent opportunity to witness first-hand the start of a promising new era. Today's opponents Newcastle United are experiencing their own period of tumult, although in contrast to the Hammers' swift, transparent succession process, they find themselves in lengthy limbo, apparently no nearer to appointing their new gaffer than when Kevin Keegan walked out a few weeks back.

Both sides field makeshift teams due to injury and/or suspensions, with Zola experimenting with a 4-3-3 formation, swapping Julien Faubert and Valon Behrami around on the right flank, and moving skipper Lucas Neill to the centre of defence. Deadline day signings Herita Ilunga and David diMichele make their home debuts, and it's diMichele who makes the most immediate impression with an early blocked shot looping over keeper Shay Given into the net. This settles down the home team who establish a dominant pattern over the visitors for the rest of the half, with the lively diMichele doubling the advantage with some persistent play midway through the half. Newcastle look bereft of belief and purpose, their back four offering little resistance to the energy and workrate of diMichele and a rejuvenated Carlton Cole, and Butt and Cacapa looking similarly pedestrian compared to the industry and thrust of Scotty Parker and Mark Noble.

The second half is a little more competitive, but the game seems over when a scuffed diMichele shot steers the ball directly into the path of an onrushing Matty Etherington, who makes no mistake to establish a three-goal lead. Such a cushion is a rare treat for the team and supporters alike, the latter relishing the opportunity to roar 'You're going down with the Tottenham!' at the beleagured Toon Army, but high hopes for a clean sheet are dashed when some slack play gives visiting hotshot Michael Owen a half-chance at goal which he finishes with customary aplomb. This prompts a ten-minute spell where Newcastle exert some pressure on a suddenly quite edgy West Ham, with smart saves required from keeper Robert Green to maintain the advantage. The pressure peters out as the clock ticks by, however, and it's Hammers sub Luis Boa Morte who's presented with the best subsequent goal-scoring opportunities, both wastefully spurned before the full-time whistle puts the Geordie faithful out of their misery.

A fine start for the new Zola regime, then, with the tactical tinkering all paying off, diMichele winning the fans over with immediate effect, and a strong all-round team performance including Parker and Cole playing their best games we've witnessed in the Hammers shirt. The team's problems haven't disappeared overnight, and our away form and defensive concentration levels still need addressing, but our difficulties are put in sharp perspective when considering the woes of Newcastle, who face an uncertain future if their current lack of leadership, on and off the pitch, is allowed to continue.

Parallax Premiership Ratings: Green 7; Faubert 7, Upson 7, Neill 7, Ilunga 6; Behrami 7, Parker 8 (Mullins 6), Noble 7; Etherington 7 (Boa Morte 4), diMICHELE 8, Cole 7. Freddie Sears came on for Cole with a few minutes remaining, but not on for enough time to justify a rating.