You've Been So Busy Lately...You Just Haven't Had The Time.

Yes, yes, I know life's probably been as dreary as the new Blur single waiting for me to update, and I'm sorry, but really I can explain. Although that would be rather too dull, so let's just say Parallax View's unexpected hiatus was due to a combination of factors, personal and technical.

So thanks are overdue to Graybo, Mark and Vicky for their birthday greetings. And Robyn for the boobie-shaped chocolates. I'd have preferred the chocolate-shaped boobies mind, but she's obviously saving her walnut whips for another, more infinitely deserving soul. Although given that I ended my birthday celebrations with a former Page 3 girl's nipple in my mouth, I shouldn't be too greedy I suppose.

Talking of cocoa-derived treats I was chatted up last week by a young woman who had great delight in revealing she'd finished with a previous bloke cos she sent him to the shop for a Twirl and he came back with a Curly-Wurly. No, I found it hard to believe as well. Women chatting me up, who could credit it?

So have I missed much? What have you all been up to? Given that amongst my 118 emails received in the last week there were several frenzied invitations to observe farmyard gangbangs, the mind boggles. I know life in Chichester may get a bit drab at times, but I do wish Graybo would just settle down with a nice laydee, don't you?

And finally...many thanks to Gisbourne for providing the temporary computer monitor that enables me to reach my people once more.

Let the games re-commence.